The cursor blinks on my screen as I stare at the blank draft, asking myself for the billionth time why I thought it was a good idea to start a blog. To me, this blog feels like those diaries you had when you were a child – the ones that came with a padlock (the key for which was inevitably lost within a week), the contents strictly private, a secret held between you and your stuffed toys only. I guess that leaves you, my audience, to be the fluffy bears and rabbits, the keepers of my rather public secret blog. Apologies for the comparison.
Not that there’s anything wrong with having secrets, of course. Only it does seem quite odd to make such an intimate thing so public – why am I sharing such personal thoughts with the internet? It all feels rather backward, quite counter-intuitive really. I would feel embarrassed sharing my blog with friends and family, yet I am fine with the rest of the internet seeing it. Maybe that’s because this blog was never really targeted at a wide audience, or much of an audience at all. I’m writing, not for the enjoyment of others, but for myself (I know, how selfish). I’m simply writing because I can, because I enjoy the challenge of turning thoughts into words, arranging those words into sentences and building those sentences into a coherent structure.
So what’s the deal with this ‘dream audience’ thing then? It doesn’t really matter to me who reads my posts, as to most strangers I will just be another blogger in the sea of words and opinions, and I’m fine with that. My audience could consist largely of a huge gaggle of geese and it wouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference. I don’t expect many people to pay attention to little old me, so I guess my dream audience is simply anyone that is interested, and anyone that cares. I don’t want to make money or become famous, I just want to write. I’m not much of a muchness, but if people do find this blog entertaining or helpful, that’s an added bonus.
Now, pinky swear to keep this between us, okay? – Oh, and the geese too.